A male colleague/friend comes to my cubicle for a chat, as we often do, to discuss life, love, movies, office gossip etc. This time, there's something different. His mouth and fingers are both moving at furious speed as he speaks to me and chats on his phone at the same time. He looks like a man on the mission. Perplexed, I asked him what's wrong. "Yaar, I'm chatting with Preeti (his latest crush) and i have to steer the conversation in a direction that makes me sound interesting and mysterious at the same time. Just cant be friendzoned. She is the GIRL for me."
With all his Punjabi genes in the right places, the 6-footer's moves are usually far more confident. This time though, the sweat on his head is visible, the tension palpable. The friend in me says, "C'mon, give it time...it'll all work out." The social psychologist(without certificates of boast of) hidden in me gets incredibly curious. What the hell is being 'friendzoned'? And do guys fear it much?
"Whoa! You have no idea", says a colleague a few days later, as he hears yours truly discuss the matter for a possible article. In fact, such is his passion for the topic that he leaves his article midway, draws his chair beside me and another colleague and narrates his tale about being friendzoned in college, and how he still hasn't got ever it. Soon, more colleagues join in. Some avoid the topic, pretending to be too busy, but most nod like those bobbling dolls..."Yes, girls are born with the art of friendzoning," says despair to comical, nostalgic to anger, I see a riot of emotions across faces in front of me.
Something needs to be done about the grave danger facing the male species and their love lives. And before you ask, no, friendzoned isn't restricted to just one gender, it happens to women too. But the ratio reads more like 85:15, men to women. In the season of festivities, the risk of being friendzoned is higher than at normal times simply because it's the time to dress up, meet friends, mark territories and declare, albeit with just your body language, your 'relationship status'. It often results in disaster!
The girl realizes that the ambiguous status of feelings is in danger of a 'declaration' as people are getting curious about the 'relationship status'. She may panic and run away!. So, how does one really balance being friendly, yet not be friendzoned?
- First you should never ask about past relationship's early on- it's a clear recipe for being friendzoned right-away!. Cheeky is good sometimes but don't take it to the 'cocky' level. Don't always be that 'nice guy' in front of the girl, which means, be a gentleman but never a puppy. Let her know you are trying to impress her but be subtle about it. And yes, abstain from using words like buddy, bro, yaar, etc.
- You know what happens when in an institution the boy- girl ratio is almost 90:10...Loads of confusion on "she loves me, she loves me not". What i don't like is the silence or pretending nothing exists. What i have learnt from the experience is that if there's palpable chemistry, it's better to have an honest chat. Building stories in your head and then realising nothing exists can be quite hurtful.
- If one doesn't make the right move at the right time, one loses his chance. You'll be friendzoned. And once there, it is really hart to get out. Maybe, at some stage the girl will feel attracted to you. But that will be mostly because of lack of options. It isn't a good feelings.
Guys, be wise. Don't rush. Plan your cards right.
With all his Punjabi genes in the right places, the 6-footer's moves are usually far more confident. This time though, the sweat on his head is visible, the tension palpable. The friend in me says, "C'mon, give it time...it'll all work out." The social psychologist(without certificates of boast of) hidden in me gets incredibly curious. What the hell is being 'friendzoned'? And do guys fear it much?
Something needs to be done about the grave danger facing the male species and their love lives. And before you ask, no, friendzoned isn't restricted to just one gender, it happens to women too. But the ratio reads more like 85:15, men to women. In the season of festivities, the risk of being friendzoned is higher than at normal times simply because it's the time to dress up, meet friends, mark territories and declare, albeit with just your body language, your 'relationship status'. It often results in disaster!
The girl realizes that the ambiguous status of feelings is in danger of a 'declaration' as people are getting curious about the 'relationship status'. She may panic and run away!. So, how does one really balance being friendly, yet not be friendzoned?
- First you should never ask about past relationship's early on- it's a clear recipe for being friendzoned right-away!. Cheeky is good sometimes but don't take it to the 'cocky' level. Don't always be that 'nice guy' in front of the girl, which means, be a gentleman but never a puppy. Let her know you are trying to impress her but be subtle about it. And yes, abstain from using words like buddy, bro, yaar, etc.
- You know what happens when in an institution the boy- girl ratio is almost 90:10...Loads of confusion on "she loves me, she loves me not". What i don't like is the silence or pretending nothing exists. What i have learnt from the experience is that if there's palpable chemistry, it's better to have an honest chat. Building stories in your head and then realising nothing exists can be quite hurtful.
- If one doesn't make the right move at the right time, one loses his chance. You'll be friendzoned. And once there, it is really hart to get out. Maybe, at some stage the girl will feel attracted to you. But that will be mostly because of lack of options. It isn't a good feelings.
Guys, be wise. Don't rush. Plan your cards right.
